


AND DARLIN' I'M LOST

by BandWurks, orphan_account



Category: Shinedown (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Depression, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Why I wrote a Christmas fic before Halloween IDK, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BandWurks/pseuds/BandWurks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Brent doesn't want to be alone with his depression for Christmas and isolates himself to deal with it.  Title and idea from Broadripple Is Burning by Margot and the Nuclear So-And-So's.





	

Brent shivered as the cold December air hit him. He was in a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt, just typical t-shirt material, a thin beanie, and a scarf, and it was only about 20 degrees Fahrenheit out. He hadn’t thought to wear something heavier, warmer in this weather. He had gone for a walk while they were at a stop on this winter tour, needing to escape from the bus and the guys and the crew and just… Try to breathe.

He was wandering, had no clue where he was. He was trying to take in details as best as he could, just to try to distract his mind from the depression that had been like stones on his chest, suffocating him with the weight of itself. He let his eyes roam around him, seeing that he was downtown in a quiet town, beautiful and cold in the winter. There were lights around now that it was starting to get dark, and Brent knew the guys would be booking hotel rooms soon, as today was a day off. His thoughts wandered as he and his eyes did, never able to find one thing to focus on.

He fought to focus on one thing as the clouds came to cover the sky, making it even darker as sundown fell upon him, growing colder, as the Christmas lights that twinkled around him grew brighter. The shops were small, self-owned around here, and the windows were decorated with paint, gingerbread men and Christmas trees and snowflakes. Streetlights came on to accompany the Christmas lights as snow began to fall, and the fountain here in the town square continued on, the water seemingly defying the below freezing temperatures. 

Brent shivered once more as he stepped into one of the small shops, a coffee joint, the décor inside blue and red and green and white to match the winter as Christmas rapidly approached. There was only another week and a half, and in two more days, they would be flying home for the rest of the year, after one last show here the next night. Brent felt like his heart had been stabbed as he realized he had nothing to go home to. The other guys had plans, with their parents and siblings. Brent had none of that this year, was going to be alone. A hot tear streaked his cold face as this passed through his thoughts, only to be shaken as the young woman at the counter asked him if he would like to buy something.

“Uh… Yeah,” he said after a moment. “A coffee and Irish Crème, please, and one of those croissants.” She smiled softly at him and he smiled back as she rung him up, giving him his total. He pulled out a 50 and told her to keep the change, and to have a good Christmas. He stepped off to the side as a few teenagers trickled in, hiding his face with his scarf and his hair with his beanie in order to avoid recognition. As he was called, he grabbed his coffee and pastry and quickly ate the croissant before returning outside. The fountain was no longer flowing, and Brent figured they had shut it off in order to prevent the pipes from freezing with it flowing and being damaged.

He sipped at his coffee as he continued to wander, just now noticing all the garbage on the sidewalks. He stooped to pick some up, tossing it in a nearby trash can, and swallowed, wishing he could go home, even though he knew nothing was waiting there for him. He would be okay without human contact for a while, right?

He soon finished his coffee and found himself cold once more. He wasn’t sure where he was going, until his feet took him to a pub that was crawling with young adults, looking just barely old enough to drink. He figured he had fifteen years on them easily, but he just needed more, needed something to help him stop feeling. His depression was taking a toll on him, it was obvious when someone looked at his eyes. He was exhausted, hadn’t been sleeping, and had no energy anymore. If he could make himself stop feeling, maybe… Maybe then he could finally recover.

He sat at the bar, looking at the wintery menu. This was definitely a young adult pub; instead of your typical rum and coke or scotch on the rocks, there were cocktails and food that were themed for the season. He debated before ordering a hot apple cider, spiked with brandy. He needed the warmth, needed to warm up again, and knew the booze would help with that and with his desire to stop feeling. The drink was quickly downed and reordered, then downed a second time as Brent looked at the menu once more. He decided that he was going to work his way down the in season drinks until he was cut off.

He made it through a type of eggnog, some hot buttered rum, a spiked peppermint hot cocoa, and a candy cane cocktail and had just gotten a candy cane martini when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and heard a familiar deep, smooth voice saying his name.

“Brent, what are you doing here? How are you wearing just that?” Brent downed the martini and called for another before he turned to face Barry, who was wearing a heavy coat, gloves, pants, and a scarf. The drummer’s face was confused at why the singer would be here of all places. “You disappeared, everyone has been looking for you but they had to get their rooms before the hotel was out. You and I got put together because there was only one room left and Zach and Eric wanted their own.”

Brent smiled loopily. “Wha’ss ittt looook like ‘m doinn’, Barrryyy?” He slurred his words, wasted, as his next martini came. He saw Barry frown and grab it and down it himself so that Brent couldn’t. “Whaaat the fuuuck, Barrryyyy?” Brent frowned as Barry pulled out his wallet and paid Brent’s tab.

“You’ve had enough to drink, Brent. Come on… Let’s get you to the hotel. We’ll have to hail a cab, you can’t walk…” Barry pulled him outside and Brent shivered immediately; in the night (though it was only about 7 PM now), the temperature had already dropped to about 16 degrees Fahrenheit and he was not properly dressed. Barry hailed a cab and pulled Brent in, sitting beside him and hugging him close to warm him up as he gave the hotel name to the driver.

It was only about a 5 minute ride and Brent was finally starting to warm up as they pulled up, and Barry thanked the driver with a nice tip before pulling Brent inside of the hotel, going to get the second key for Brent before leading him to their room. There was only one king sized bed for the two of them, the last room that had been available, and Barry sighed softly as he moved Brent to sit and turn on the heater, pulling out warmer pajamas for the both of them as Brent’s clothes and his own were wet from the melted snow.

The room was silent other than Barry’s bustling for a while, until after they were both in pajamas and Barry had made Brent curl up under the blankets. And finally it was broken. “What’s wrong, Brent?” Barry asked, and Brent pursed his lips.

“Cooooome huuug meee and I’ll teeellll yooouuu…” Brent slurred, and Barry sighed, moving to curl beneath the blankets with Brent, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. And Brent smiled, kissing Barry with a giggle, their first ever kiss. Barry pulled away and Brent immediately stopped giggling. “Whaaaaaat?”

“You’re wasted, Brent, I can fucking taste it… That’s not how… That’s not how this should go.” Barry pulled away and moved from the bed. “I’ll just wait until you’re sober…” 

Brent frowned. “Nooooooo, Barrrryyyyyyy…” His eyes flooded with tears. “I... I juuuusst…” 

Barry looked at him softly and nodded for him to continue. “I waassss thiiinking abouuut… How I haaaave nooothing to goo hooome to forrr Chriiistmasss…” Brent’s tears began to fall, and he curled under the blanket with a shiver. 

Barry sighed softly and crawled back into the bed, pulling him close. “Get some sleep… I’ll be here when you sober up.” His arms wrapped around Brent and Brent nodded softly, almost immediately falling into a drunken sleep. Barry sighed once more before he too tried to relax enough to sleep.

At around four in the morning, Brent awoke with a massive headache and nausea and quickly bolted to the toilet, retching as he knelt before it. Instantly Barry was awake and behind him, rubbing his back. “Get it out, Brent…”

It took a half an hour for Brent to stop retching, his head pounding, and he whimpered as Barry sat and pulled him backwards into his lap. Tears began to fall, Brent’s depression hitting him far harder than the night before.

“I don’t want to be alone for Christmas, I don’t want to be alone period, I thought the booze would help me stop feeling, I can’t do this…” The words fell from Brent’s mouth as Barry hugged him close, tears falling heavily.

“Yes you can, Brent… You know why? I’m not going to let you be alone for Christmas… You’re coming with me…” Barry’s words were smooth and careful, trying to calm Brent.

Brent choked back his tears and hiccupped, his head pounding. “I don’t want to interrupt your Christmas…”

“You wouldn’t be.” Though they were soft, Barry’s words were assertive and caring. 

Brent glanced at him wearily. “Y-you p-promise?” If Barry was sure, Brent wouldn’t turn him down.

“Of course I do.” Barry hugged him tighter. “Now… Let’s get your teeth brushed and get back to bed.” Brent allowed Barry to help him stand and guide him to the sink. Brent braced himself against the sink so he wouldn’t collapse as Barry retrieved his toothbrush and toothpaste from his luggage, gently getting it ready and wrapping his arms around Brent to hold him steady while he brushed his teeth.

As Brent finished rinsing and spitting, Barry helped guide him back to bed, 5 in the morning. They had about another 6 hours for Brent to sleep this hangover off as best as he could, and Barry wanted him to be able to so he could function today. And they faced each other, Barry watching Brent get sleepy fast.

“One more thing, Brent,” Barry said softly, and Brent raised his eyebrows. And soon Barry’s lips were against his in the sweetest, most loving kiss Brent had ever had. And as it broke, Barry spoke. “Now THAT’S the way it should be. I love you.”

Brent couldn’t help but smile softly as he drifted off to sleep. “I love you…” he murmured as his eyes closed and he snuggled close to Barry, safe and warm and no longer alone.


End file.
